Four simple ways to build a happier life

As a county councilmember, I spend a lot of time listening to concerns from constituents. I hear from parents who are stretched thin, seniors who feel lonely, young people who are anxious about the future, and workers who feel burned out even when they’re doing everything “right.” One thing is clear: many people are searching for happiness, but they aren’t sure where to find it.

Research from social scientists points to a clear answer. Happiness does not come from money alone, social media attention, or having an easier life. Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor, social scientist and bestselling author teaches the science of happiness. He says that happiness comes from four things: faith, family, friendship and meaningful work.

The first is faith. People are happier when they believe their lives matter and are part of something bigger than themselves. For some, this comes from faith or spiritual beliefs. For others, it comes from serving their community, caring for others or living by strong values. Faith gives people strength during hard times and helps them see challenges as part of a larger purpose. Even small habits—like volunteering, mentoring, or reflecting on what matters most—can build a deeper sense of meaning.

The second is family. Strong family relationships are one of the most reliable sources of long-term happiness. This doesn’t mean family life is easy. It takes patience, forgiveness and time. But people who invest in their families tend to feel more supported and less alone. Family can mean parents and children, grandparents, chosen family or relatives who show up when it counts. Simple actions—shared meals, regular check-ins or family traditions—can make a big difference.

The third is friendship. Healthy friendships protect people from loneliness and stress. They give us someone to laugh with, talk to and lean on when life gets hard. Yet friendships often get pushed aside by busy schedules and screens. Reaching out, making time for face-to-face connection, and being present for others helps build trust and belonging. Often you will have to be the one to reach out and make this happen. Communities are stronger when neighbors know each other, not just online, but in real life. Do you know the people who live three houses on either side of you and across the street? If not, make it a point this year to get to know them better. It helps keep your neighborhood safe and builds connection when you can all look out for each other. 

The fourth is meaningful work. This does not mean everyone has to love every part of their job. But people are happier when they feel useful and see how their work helps someone else. Whether paid or unpaid, work gives people dignity and purpose. Parents raising children, volunteers, caregivers, students and workers all contribute value. When people feel needed, their confidence and happiness grow.

One important idea connects all four of these areas: happiness is not about chasing pleasure. Pleasure fades quickly. Real happiness builds slowly through effort, relationships and responsibility. It grows when we use things but care for people—not the other way around. Being “happy” doesn’t mean you will never have sadness, anger, frustration or problems. Everyone has hard times. But by focusing on the things that really matter, you increase your opportunities for better overall happiness. 

As a community, we should make it easier for people to build these four foundations. That means supporting families, creating spaces for connection, valuing service and helping people find meaning in their lives. Happiness is not something government can give—but it is something we can support by strengthening the places where people live, work and belong. Make a goal this year to find ways you can help increase your own happiness.