Building confidence and mental wellness

As spring blooms, so too does the season for self-reflection and growth. It’s a time to take the opportunity to think about the various roles we take on in life and the ways we view ourselves. This reflection, however, often leads to an uncomfortable truth for many of us: we can be our harshest critics. Whether we’re thinking about our careers, relationships or personal goals, how often do we find ourselves doubting our worth or feeling like we're just not measuring up?

It’s something that’s far more common than we might like to admit. The root of this thinking often comes down to our confidence – something many of us struggle with from time to time. The truth is, unshakable confidence doesn’t come naturally to most of us. We all face moments when we feel less than "enough." But as former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Through personal experience, I’ve noticed a few common themes that tend to crop up, and I’m sure many of you can relate. Here are some of the most frequent struggles that impact our sense of confidence and mental wellness:

1 Imposter Syndrome: Have you ever felt like you don’t belong, despite your qualifications or experience? It doesn’t matter if you have all the credentials, the knowledge or the background; at times, you might still feel like you're just not good enough to be at the table. This can happen in any role – whether you’re stepping into a leadership position, a new job or even in your personal relationships. The feelings of self-doubt are real and can be difficult to shake. Imposter syndrome often feeds into our mental wellness, triggering feelings of anxiety and stress that affect our overall sense of well-being.

2. The Comparison Trap: I’m sure you’ve walked into a room and noticed someone and thought, "Wow, they’ve got it all together. Why don’t I?" This could be someone in your gym class, at work or even in your social circle. We might see someone who's more successful, more put-together or simply appears to have the "perfect" life. Suddenly, our own confidence plummets. Or, even worse, we might make ourselves feel better by comparing ourselves to others in a way that diminishes their worth. The constant cycle of comparison can quickly rob us of joy and self-esteem, often contributing to stress and burnout, which have a direct impact on mental wellness.

3. Feeling Stuck: There are times in life when we feel trapped – like we're standing still while everyone else is moving forward. Whether it’s because you’re at a crossroads in your career, facing burnout or feeling trapped in a difficult situation (like a toxic relationship or financial struggles), the weight of stagnation can be a serious blow to our confidence and mental wellness. The longer we feel stuck, the more our sense of self-worth can erode, and the harder it becomes to move forward.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I am no expert on confidence or mental wellness, but I’ve learned a few things along the way that have helped me when I’m feeling less than "enough." Here are 10 tips that I’ve found helpful in building back my confidence and nurturing my mental wellness during those tough times:

1. Escape to Your Happy Place

There’s something incredibly powerful about getting away to a space where you feel safe and inspired. For me, it’s our family cabin or at a local café. Sometimes all it takes is a change of environment to reset your mindset. It could be as simple as going for a walk, visiting a peaceful park or taking a moment to sit somewhere where you can clear your head. A change of scenery can be incredibly beneficial for mental wellness, helping you manage stress, regain clarity and reconnect with yourself.

2. Evaluate Your Social Circle

The people we surround ourselves with play a huge role in how we feel about ourselves. As the saying goes, "Bad company corrupts good character." It’s essential to have a support system of people who build you up, challenge you to be your best and align with your values. If you find yourself surrounded by individuals who drain your energy or constantly make you question your worth, it might be time to set boundaries or distance yourself. On the other hand, make an effort to spend more time with those who encourage and uplift you. A healthy, supportive social circle is crucial for nurturing mental wellness.

3. Commit to Growth

One of the greatest sources of insecurity can come from feeling like you don’t know enough. The key is to adopt a growth mindset. Never stop learning. Read books, listen to podcasts, attend workshops or seek out mentorship. Put yourself in environments where you are challenged and can learn from others. Make intentional strides to be better every day. By focusing on growth rather than perfection, you reduce the pressure you place on yourself, which contributes to improved mental wellness.

4. Watch Your Self-Talk

Our thoughts shape our reality. If you're constantly telling yourself that you're not good enough, not capable or not worthy, then that becomes your truth. Shift your self-talk to reflect positivity and reality. For example, instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” reframe it to, “I might not know how to do this yet, but I will figure it out.” Replace negative self-talk with affirmations that reflect your strength and worth. Positive self-talk can reduce anxiety, improve your mental outlook and boost your overall well-being. I often ask myself, “would I speak to one of my kids this way?” If not, why would I speak to myself in such a way either?

5. Understand Your Value

It’s easy to place your value in external sources like the approval of others, your achievements or even social media validation. But the truth is, your worth is intrinsic. It doesn't depend on likes, followers or anyone else’s opinion of you. Your value comes from within and is not contingent on external circumstances. Remind yourself daily that you are enough, just as you are. This understanding is fundamental to maintaining healthy mental wellness because it frees you from external validation.

6. Be True to Yourself

There’s only one you, and that uniqueness is your superpower. Stay true to your values and priorities. It can be tempting to try to fit in or cater to what others think is best for you, but you will never be fully confident when you're compromising who you are. Know your values, your passions and your goals – and pursue them authentically, even if it means saying no to things that don't align with your true self. Mental wellness thrives when we honor our authentic selves and set boundaries that protect our energy.

7. Pursue What Interests You

Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can have an incredible impact on your confidence and mental health. Whether it’s a hobby, a sport or even a new project, the act of doing something you’re passionate about helps build self-esteem and promotes mental wellness. Invest time in what excites and motivates you – whether that’s taking up a new skill, revisiting an old hobby or simply doing something that makes you feel good.

8. Refresh and Recharge

Self-care is essential to maintaining confidence and mental wellness. Taking care of your mind and body helps you feel your best. Whether it’s getting a massage, exercising, meditating or simply enjoying a quiet moment, find ways to refresh and rejuvenate. Don’t underestimate the power of taking a break to recharge your batteries. Regular rest is necessary for mental health, reducing stress and restoring your emotional equilibrium.

9. Count Your Blessings

Gratitude is one of the best ways to shift your perspective and boost your confidence. Take time each day to reflect on what’s going well in your life. When you start counting your blessings, you realize just how much you have to be grateful for – and that can give you the confidence you need to face any challenge. Practicing gratitude also promotes mental wellness by helping you focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives.

10. Know When to Ask for Help

No one can do it all alone. We often think others will see our asking for help as a weakness or inability to do something, but asking for help is often the greatest act of strength. Whether it’s hiring a coach, seeking support from a mentor or even seeing a counselor during difficult times, don’t be afraid to lean on others. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak – it makes you wise. Mental wellness is supported by seeking professional guidance when needed and leaning on trusted loved ones for support.

After reading through these tips, ask yourself: Where is your biggest confidence or mental wellness struggle? Why do you think it’s a struggle for you? And most importantly, what steps can you take to work on that area? Don’t be afraid to share your journey with others for accountability and support. Confidence and mental wellness don’t come overnight – they’re ongoing processes. For more tips and insights check out Holly’s Highlights podcast available wherever you listen to podcasts as well as on www.hollycurby.com.

Through life's ups and downs, it’s important to remember that confidence and mental wellness are journeys. Whether you're facing a new challenge, going through a transition or simply trying to find your footing, both will grow with patience, practice and perseverance. In the words of actress and model Blake Lively, "The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence." So, go out there and wear it proudly, knowing that your mental wellness is just as important as your outward confidence.λ