How to talk with people from celebrity interviewer

From graduations and weddings to vacations and family reunions, summer is filled with opportunities and obligations for conversations. Regardless of being an introvert or an extrovert many of us can struggle with the similar thought of “I don’t know what to say.” Well, I had the opportunity to sit down with nationally recognized movie critic and Emmy winner for Outstanding Achievement in interviewing programming, Tony Toscano. He shared three tips on how to talk with people. 

1) Do your homework. When possible, learn about the people you’ll be talking to so that you have questions you can ask them or even something to discuss that you have in common. 

2) Read the room. People give both verbal and nonverbal cues as to if they are wanting to engage in conversation. Where are their toes pointed? That’s the direction of their attention. Are they providing short or long answers? The length will provide some insight as to their buy-in to the conversation and/or its timeframe.

3) Keep the conversation spontaneous. Don’t worry about what you are going to say next, but genuinely listen to what the person is saying and let the conversation develop. This allows the conversation to naturally flow as a result.

Toscano challenges to “see conversations as a game…you have 10 minutes to find out everything you need to know about the person before moving on to the next stop” (or another person with whom you’ll converse). Still not convinced you’ll know what to say? Toscano shared two tools to use. 

1) Build trust. This is a skill of Toscano’s where he puts people at ease in conversations by letting the person he’s talking to know that they can trust him. This trust provides a comfort level that paves a way for the person to feel safe to share more in-depth as well as answer questions being asked. 

2) Read. From carpentry to horticulture, sea monsters and UFOs, Toscano shares that “reading helps you find common ground.” Whether it’s talking to family, friends, business colleagues or clients, or simply making small talk at a party or with a stranger in line at the grocery store—Toscano emphasizes, “common ground is the most important thing you’ve got to establish.” 

Some basic questions to routinely use in finding that common ground may include asking their favorite restaurant, what they enjoy doing, or even where did they buy their shoes. However, Toscano cautions not to interrupt people nor come up with quick answers or responses. “Everybody wants to get their point across,” Toscano said, “but it's better if you listen and then establish your point.” 

As for tips or tricks for being memorable? “Be the person that makes somebody laugh,” Toscano advises, “but overall ensure to have a good rapport.”

Want to learn more about how to talk to people? Or simply interested to learn who Toscano’s favorite and least favorite celebrities are to interview? Check out Holly’s Highlights podcast Season 3 Episode 12 wherever you listen to podcasts including Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, I Heart Radio and at www.HollyCurby.com. λ