Skip to main content

Me And My Shadow

Jun 26, 2015 09:25AM ● Published by Peri Kinder

On the morning of my second birthday, my sister, Jenny, was born and destroyed my life forever. Instead of my parents fawning over me with glitter and ponies, they were in the hospital, snuggling with this red-faced creature called a “sister” like she was the greatest thing since chocolate-covered Twinkies.

At 2, I wasn’t even sure what a “sister” was, but I knew it wasn’t anything good. Once I realized she would be sticking around for a while, I decided to punish my mom and dad for trying to replace me with this whining little monster.

Was I not enough? Did they think they should start over with a new daughter?
 Each year in July, when our birthday rolled around, I made sure my mom knew I was not going to share a cake with Jenny, and I was not going to share a birthday party, and I was going to act like an inconsolable selfish brat until I became a teenager. Then I’d get really bad.

Instead of slapping me and telling me to calm the hell down, my mom made two birthday cakes, planned two parties (inviting many of the same kids) and sewed two dresses that could not match. She was patience personified. And she cried a lot.

Not only did Jenny steal my birthday, but she was so cute that she got away with EVERYTHING and found a way to get me in trouble for stuff I DID NOT DO. Well, sometimes I did. Okay, usually I did.

I learned that a little sister is like having a rash. No matter how much you scratch it and claw at it, it just never goes away.

If I tried sneaking off to my friend’s house, I’d hear, “Pe-RI! Jenny wants to go, too.” If I was playing with my doll and didn’t want to share, I’d hear, “Peri Lynn! You let Jenny play with you.” Then Jenny would cut my doll’s hair and I’d get in trouble for screaming. And punching. 

Once, after being forced to take my sister to the field with me to play, I cut my hand on some barbed wire while climbing into the swamp I wasn’t allowed to enter. Jenny was frantic with worry, both because I was trespassing and because I probably had tetanus.

“I’m gonna tell mom,” she said, stupidly.

“If you do, I’ll never play with you again.”

She kept the secret for one day, then I heard her crying to mom, “I don’t want Peri to die. She cut her hand on a fence and she’s gonna die.”

Needless to say, I didn’t die. But I made sure Jenny paid for her tattletelling concern for my life.

She was a constant companion. I had to walk with her to school, play with her on weekends and share a bedroom.

We’d lie in our bunk beds at night and create imaginary ice cream sundaes for each other. She would give me mint chocolate chip ice cream with hot fudge topping and extra cherries. I’d give her mud-flavored ice cream with mayonnaise. 

Now, several decades later, I reluctantly admit that sisters are kind of cool. Thanks to my parents’ indifference to my opinion, I ended up with three sisters—and a brother who is still undergoing electroshock therapy to counteract being raised with four sisters.

Every year on our birthday, I apologize to Jenny and let her know I forgive her for ruining my childhood. I grudgingly confess my life would be bleaker without her. But I still get my own cake.
Arts+Entertainment

It looks like we don't have any events for this date. You can always add an event.

  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/25/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Aging Mastery Program

    10/26/2017
    01:00PM — 02:30PM

    Join the ten-week health and wellness program, Aging Mastery at Millcreek Senior Center. The clas...


  • Garden After Dark - Adventures in Wonderland

    10/26/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Join us for an enchanted evening as we journey down the rabbit hole to the whimsical, wonderful w...


  • Instruction Classes

    10/26/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Freaky Friday's

    10/27/2017
    08:30AM — 09:15AM

    Zombies sing and dance to top Halloween Hits in this THRILLING Halloween show for the entire fami...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Garden After Dark - Adventures in Wonderland

    10/27/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Join us for an enchanted evening as we journey down the rabbit hole to the whimsical, wonderful w...


  • Wasatch Symphony's Fall Concert

    10/29/2017
    07:30PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for our 64th season opener! In recognition of the 500th Anniversary of the Protestant Ref...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/30/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/25/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Aging Mastery Program

    10/26/2017
    01:00PM — 02:30PM

    Join the ten-week health and wellness program, Aging Mastery at Millcreek Senior Center. The clas...


  • Garden After Dark - Adventures in Wonderland

    10/26/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Join us for an enchanted evening as we journey down the rabbit hole to the whimsical, wonderful w...


  • Instruction Classes

    10/26/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Freaky Friday's

    10/27/2017
    08:30AM — 09:15AM

    Zombies sing and dance to top Halloween Hits in this THRILLING Halloween show for the entire fami...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Garden After Dark - Adventures in Wonderland

    10/27/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Join us for an enchanted evening as we journey down the rabbit hole to the whimsical, wonderful w...


  • Garden After Dark - Adventures in Wonderland

    10/28/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Join us for an enchanted evening as we journey down the rabbit hole to the whimsical, wonderful w...


  • Wasatch Symphony's Fall Concert

    10/29/2017
    07:30PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for our 64th season opener! In recognition of the 500th Anniversary of the Protestant Ref...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/30/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    11/01/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Aging Mastery Program

    11/02/2017
    01:00PM — 02:30PM

    Join the ten-week health and wellness program, Aging Mastery at Millcreek Senior Center. The clas...


  • Instruction Classes

    11/02/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    11/03/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Orchid Show

    11/04/2017
    09:00AM — 04:00PM

    Join the Utah Orchid Society for a dazzling display of both common and exotic orchid varieties. S...


  • Garden Adventures - Squishy Squash

    11/04/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Did you know that squash are actually fruits and NOT vegetables? Learn more about squash and disc...


  • Orchid Show

    11/05/2017
    09:00AM — 04:00PM

    Join the Utah Orchid Society for a dazzling display of both common and exotic orchid varieties. S...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    11/06/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


  • Leading building industry business coach and educator, The Aspire Institute, will present a one-d...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    11/08/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


  • Salt Lake City Sales Job

    11/09/2017
    09:00AM — 12:30PM

    Salt Lake City Professional Career Event - Sales & Management Specific HireLive is a national ...


  • Salt Lake City Sales Job Fair

    11/09/2017
    09:00AM — 12:30PM

    Salt Lake City Professional Career Event - Sales & Management Specific HireLive is a national ...


  • Salt Lake City Sales Job Fair

    11/09/2017
    09:00AM — 12:30PM

    Salt Lake City Professional Career Event - Sales & Management Specific HireLive is a national ...


  • Frontiers of Science

    11/09/2017
    06:00PM — 07:30PM

    Frontiers of Science featuring, Francis R. McAllister Thursday, November 9 at 6:00 p.m.


  • Instruction Classes

    11/09/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    11/10/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


  • Intermountain Train Expo

    11/11/2017
    09:00AM — 05:00PM

    Entertainment for the entire family! Tons of hands-on activities including boxcar races, demoliti...


  • Garden Adventures - Fantastic Fall Foliage

    11/11/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Have you ever wondered why green leaves change to red, yellow, orange, and brown in the fall? Joi...


  • Grief and The Holidays

    11/11/2017
    07:00PM — 08:30PM

    Caring Connections: A Hope and Comfort in Grief Program will hold its annual Grief and the Holida...


  • Intermountain Train Expo

    11/12/2017
    09:00AM — 05:00PM

    Entertainment for the entire family! Tons of hands-on activities including boxcar races, demoliti...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    11/13/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Move Over... Amazon, Walmart, Target & others... We are introducing the most powerful, innovativ...


 

Online Edition
Follow us on Facebook
Online Edition South Salt Lake
Advertise with us

 

City Journals 9500 South 500 West, Suite 205, Sandy, Utah 84070 801.254.5974